In times of questioning… part 2

Here I pick up where I left off.

Our cat passed away, my husband has just recovered from the flu, one of my daughters missed 3 days of school due to fever, and another had a fever today as well.

I heard the truck pull into the driveway after my husband and daughter left Friday morning for school.  I wondered what was wrong.   On the way out of our driveway, our eldest daughter saw our guard dog Shadow, lying lifeless on the road in front of our mailbox.  He NEVER went out of our gate. He NEVER left the property. Sweet Shadow was gone. Gone were the late night barks on alert. Gone was the goofy galloping, as he ran to us when we called…2 days after burying Mr. Pickles, we were burying another one of our pets.

Gone.

In our sorrow, we were thankful. Thankful that a friend had loaned us his tractor so that we could shred our property. Thankful that we were able to bury this sweet boy more easily in the parched, rock filled soil. “How much more Lord?” was a resounding question in our hearts.

I apologize for being so sorrowful, but as I said in the first post, these last few weeks have been tough.

Transparency.

That is what I offer you.

Here tonight as tears slide down my cheeks, I trust.  I trust in God.  I trust. He knows each one of our needs.  He knows that I may, after 13 years of not working a full-time job,  may have to place the kids back in school and get a full time job.  This isn’t a surprise to my Heavenly Father.

The truth? I’m scared.

Scared of giving up the blessing of being a stay at home mom, to become a full-time working mom.  People do it all the time.  I just never thought that I would need to.  Times change.  Home insurance goes up. Health insurance goes up. Cost of living goes up.

My eyes lift toward heaven as I pray.

Psalm 121:1-8

1 I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
         From where shall my help come?

2My help comes from the LORD,
         Who made heaven and earth.

3He will not allow your foot to slip;
         He who keeps you will not slumber.

4Behold, He who keeps Israel
         Will neither slumber nor sleep.

5The LORD is your keeper;
         The LORD is your shade on your right hand.

6The sun will not smite you by day,
         Nor the moon by night.

7The LORD will protect you from all evil;
         He will keep your soul.

8The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in
         From this time forth and forever.

http://biblehub.com/context/psalms/121-1.htm

 

It is all going to be ok.  It will.  God will provide as He always has.

“What is Your will Father?” When all else seems to be lost in the time of confusion, one must ask, “Will You clear the way?” He has promised to do so.

So.

I.

Trust.

Psalm 20:7

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.”

http://biblehub.com/psalms/20-7.htm

We trust in the name of the LORD our God.

Wherever you are on your journey, I pray that you don’t feel alone.  I pray that you will be able to lift your eyes up.  Lift your face to the Creator.  He loves you.

Lord, to all who carry a heavy burden of grief, fear, shame or loss, please comfort them. Please hold them tightly and allow them to feel Your presence as they never have before. Love them deeply with Your love everlasting.  In the name of Jesus we pray. Amen.

Love and hugs,

Tara

 

 

 

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