About Nana

About Nana

We met Karen in our old neighborhood and weren’t instant friends, but the kids were drawn to her and wouldn’t give up the pursuit. She let us love her, and loves us in return.

Karen quickly became the kind of friend whose door was always open, and the coffee pot was always on. She came to our house for noise and excitement. At her home,  Jelly Belly jelly beans and water were always present.  She is a woman who is retired from the army after 22 years. A little rough around the edges, but life has dealt her some harsh blows.  I think in many ways, we are all rough around the edges aren’t we?   I want to be a friend like her. One who always opens the door to her neighbors and their wild, full of life children. One who gardens in the heat of the day, to get rid of those awful weeds.   One who accepts a glass of lemonade on a hot Texas day, from grubby little toddler hands, and drinks every drop and is thankful. One who seeks to know what our favorite things are and pops in with surprise groceries, when we didn’t know how we were going to make it that month.  The friend who always listens, asks the right questions, and seeks to make sure we know how loved we are. She has been the break from reality, when Sammy was coaching 96 hours a week.  She comes for birthdays.  Truth be told, she has brought the birthday many times! The kids found chocolate chip cookie cakes with maraschino cherries, whipped cream , icing, sprinkles and whatever toppings they chose to be undeniably delicious!  I think she has made cookie cakes for the last 8 years!

She was there for the activities of the kids, a supporter of odd requests and purchaser of random last-minute birthday gifts that we couldn’t (or wouldn’t) purchase.  She has a son and daughter in law, but grandchildren haven’t arrived.  She has wall plaques, and picture frames that have Nana phrases. She has our hearts.  So, as she suffers from her third form of cancer in 3 years, we cry out to the Lord with sorrow and gratitude. With sorrow, because it hurts us to see her suffer.  With gratitude, that she has been led to the Maker of Heaven and Earth and we know eternity is in her heart. Selfishly, we want her forever here.  Not for her to be in suffering, but in selfishness we want her here, with us.  She became Nana.  You see, she is adopted into our family and as much of our family as any Grandmother or Grandfather would be. We wormed our way into her heart, and she planted the gift of love in ours.

So this is where the wish comes in. I wish we were all healthy at the same time so visits could be more frequent. Will you pray that we can be healthy to visit as often as possible?  According to the Dr, we have a month give or take.  A month of quiet kisses and I love you.  A month to take as many pictures as we can take. A month to get in as many cuddles as her pained body can bear. A month to share laughter and love over a meal. One last Christmas, birthday and Thanksgiving. One last…

Every day is a gift.  Every day matters.

I want to be like Nana. Full of love, patience and humor.  Generous to a fault.  Ready for adventure!

We love you Nana.

18 years ago

We just celebrated 18 years of marriage in June and this was my yearly thought typed out 🙂 (not all depressing peeps.)

18 Years ago today your wife I was ready to become.

To fulfill my lifelong dreams and build our home.

To bear children, wipe noses and cheer you from the sidelines.

Little did I know that was not God’s plan. Not that I expected easy street, but this was NOT my chosen path.

Never in my unlimited understanding of coaching did I realize I would see you so infrequently, move three times in 5 years as you pursued your dreams across the state of Texas. I had no idea!

Never in my wildest dreams did I think God would lead us on an adventure to Nairobi, Kenya. Across the plains over oceans to walk tentatively through the adoption of our first child while we grieved the loss of three babies.

Never in my imagination could I have foreseen being presented an infant while we looked at each other with shock and joy as she was laid in our arms. 

There on a voice mail, was the call about our third. Shock and joy present again as we heard about her on August 3 and brought her home August 10th!

Moving again. Surprise? No, not really. Who knew we would move more than 10 times?! A small house, a large house and now our little slice of Texas.

Passion. Pain. Tears. Laughter.

Never in my life did I expect such a beautiful puzzle being lovingly put together by God as we wait in expectation to see what He will do next. 

The Shades of Disarray


The Shades of Disarray

By Tara Young

Many shades of disarray I can plainly see.

Why can’t my home be as tidy as I wish it to be?

Image

The hours we read and played today. The laundry piled up high.

To say that I am not discouraged would be a great big lie.

Yet in her eyes I see a glow as first words she read out loud.

Her voice squeaked and screeched as she yelled, “I read! Mom! Aren’t you proud?”

These moments that I have with her are shades of disarray.

The cleaning and the folding will be done as I pray.

Pray that I am worthy of this child placed in my heart.

For in my womb she did not grow, but God gave her a fresh start.

So when I see the disarray, I shrug my shoulders and sigh.

I will get to that, but now, her joy is nigh.

If I wait until she naps, a lot more things get done.

Right now in my shades of disarray, she just wants to have some fun.

fun girl

 

Adoption-loving freely

This morning, I was on my way to the grocery store with our 4-year-old and I asked her the best part of her life. She simply stated, “I am adopted.” My heart (and eyeballs) threatened to overflow with her sweet sentiment, but since I was driving I had to keep it together. 🙂

All 3 of our children are adopted.

Without them, I would not be a mother on this earth.

Thank you God for my children. Help me to see the distinct gifts they have and nurture those. Help me to find joy in the every day unique occurrences that make each of them just they way You designed. In Your name I pray. Amen!

Loving freely,

Tara

 

Mother’s Day – For broken, barren or grieving moms who have lost a child.

For the broken-hearted mother whose arms long for a child, yet have none to hold. I remember your pain. I remember the sorrow.  You are not alone. You are not forgotten. Your heart is in His hands.

It is ok to cry.

It is ok to grieve.

Don’t give up hope.

You are precious.

You are dear to your Maker and those around you. 

You are loved.

On mother’s day, if you know someone who has lost a child and grieves, let them know they are loved.  There is a despair on Mother’s Day that is so deep and painful.  Love them. Cherish them. Show them you care.

A Mother in my Heart

by Tara Young

We waited and hoped and prayed it was so. My spouse and I to the doctor did go.

The baby not here yet I longed to hold. To watch while that child grew and we grew old.

The inky dark blackness has settled in. What did I do was it some secret sin?

My child, my children, they are all gone. My womb now is empty I can’t sing any song.

No baby to hold, my heart is breaking. My body, the pain, my soul is shaking.

Why oh why did He do this to us? I feel like saying bad words just to cuss!

The empty cold stare reflects nothingness. His reflection reflects his helplessness.

Why go to celebrate Mother’s day as they hand out roses or pins my emotions they fray.

My heart, it aches, it burns with despair. I just want this life to be fair.

Empty arms, broken-hearted as my children have since departed.

Remember me as you see me at church, I am here waiting for peace as I search.

For the reasons of life I don’t understand. God I’m stretched out like a rubber band.

I am a broken piece of shattered art. I will always be a mother in my heart.

Since this grief, God has blessed me 3 beautiful adopted daughters and I am so glad. There is still a small part of my heart which loves the 3 I lost. They are with the Lord and I find solace in that. Safe in the arms of Jesus who loves them perfectly.

Prayers for you if you are hurting. Cry out to the Lord. He will hear you friend. If you need to leave a message, I will do my best to answer you. 🙂 Virtual hugs to your grieving heart.

the family nobody wanted. A must read book!

The Family Nobody Wanted

the family nobody wanted

My cousin sent me this book as we have adopted 3 children. I didn’t read it right away because just the title alone is sad to me. As we have gone through each adoption, we have learned that nothing is EVER the same. 🙂 You are probably saying some smarty pants comment right now like “duh” or “seriously?” but you never know what to expect with adoption. Heartache and love go hand in hand.

Life changes so differently for each side of the family. This book made me laugh, cry, doubt, and lean more on God. He truly is the one who makes all things happen in His time.

I highly recommend this book to those whose hearts are blessed by adoption, to those considering adoption or those who work with foster care children. Rather, any person who loves should read this!

Have a wonderful day.

Tara

Snuggle up

Psalm 27:14
New Living Translation (NLT)

Wait patiently for the Lord.  Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”
 So how hard is it to wait?

Have you ever had to wait for a long time for something?  We waited in prayer for each child. Sierra was a year and a half. She prayed for a sister and that was about 5 months. Tekoa prayed for Inara and that was a year and 2 days.  We are praying for our house to sell and it has been less than 4 months! Waiting!

We have been asking God in the ups and downs of our wait, what He is doing… What are we waiting for? Why are we still waiting?  When are you going to answer?

I was awakened early by someone blowing smelly morning breath in my face. The words came out so sweetly but I wish it was an hour later! 🙂 “Good morning mommy. How was your sleep?” I said, “Good morning dear. I wish it was longer.”  She climbed into bed with us and snuggled down near us and was still.

One of the few pictures I have of me with the kids! I am always the one taking pictures 🙂

That is where God wants us!  He wants us cuddled up next to Him on the park bench. Snuggled up in His arms.  Or if you are from the south and are dating or married and own a truck, you gotta get REAL close on that bench seat. 🙂 He has us in the palm of His hand and He knows what tomorrow will hold. Though we, in our minds full of doubt cannot begin to grasp His reasons, they are there.  WE don’t need to know what He is thinking until it is time.  We need to ” Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous.  Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”

Maybe He wants to see how well we trust. Maybe He wants to use you as an example to others to show reliance on the One who provides according to His riches? Maybe He just wants to snuggle with you!

We need to be in that place today where we are close to our Heavenly Father. Trusting. Being brave and courageous. Finally being patient.  Easy to say but hard to do.

So snuggle on up friends. God is waiting to hold you!

Adoption questions I have never been asked before today!

During our open house (which no one showed up for)My husband had  appointment. The girls and I went to the local indoor play area to pass an hour. There was a woman who started chatting with me about kids and she saw all three of mine who happen to look so completely different, she asked about that and I said with permission from the kids that they were all adopted. She looked at me with a very strange expression and said, “You mean you love them like your own children?” I said, “Yes they are my children in every way.” “You mean they call you  and your husband mom and dad?” I said yes and they are my children.”  I explained our story a bit about the loss of our children and following surgery and the adoptions themselves. She still was unable to grasp taking in a child not of her womb.  She truly did not get it. I told her that I was blessed by God because had I not adopted we would not have children. What a generous God we have. I lost three to miscarriage and God gave me 3 other children who are so wonderfully different.

Thank you God!

Young Family 5 🙂

I am walking in a dream

I am walking in a dream where I can’t see the light. I am waiting for an answer but it will not come tonight.

I see a new-born baby, not sure if it is mine. We will wait oh Lord and walk this crooked line.

In my dreams and when I wake. Is it real or is it fake.

It seems so clear, so cloudy too. Is this real? Is this true?

We wait for You dear Lord to speak. Help that babe for it is weak.

Be with its mother on this day. Help her Lord I do pray.

Guide her. Heal her. Protect her Lord. Praying together in one accord.

They are yours each child born. Let them not all stay forlorn.

God you are good. You are faithful and true.

My husband wrote music for a song on his guitar and asked me to help him write the lyrics. So this is what I came up with  🙂 It is from his point of view written by me which I find quite funny! Not sure why but here is my joy for today!

 

God you are good. You are faithful and true.

 

One November day I saw your eyes looking back at me. Who knew then my bride forever you would be. After you wore your wedding gown on that hot summer day. From job to job, from town to town you’ve followed me.

God you are good. You are faithful and true. We are truly blessed to be loved by you. Your arms are open wide, your eyes are ever seeing. Lord you are mighty and from evil we’re fleeing.

From Dallas to Del Rio to Africa we went. A daughter just one from Nairobi, Kenya you lent. 2 years later one blond hair beauty we were blessed with. In April our lives changed forever again. He gave us daughter number three after a year of faithful prayers. He’s blessed us so much and on Him we cast our cares.

 God you are good. You are faithful and true. We are truly blessed to be loved by you. Your arms are open wide your eyes are ever seeing Lord you are mighty and from evil we’re fleeing. 

God You are good. You are faithful and true. We are truly blessed to be loved by You. Your arms are open wide Your eyes are ever seeing. Lord you are mighty and from evil we’re fleeing.

God You are good. You are faithful and true. We are truly blessed to be loved by You.