About Nana

About Nana

We met Karen in our old neighborhood and weren’t instant friends, but the kids were drawn to her and wouldn’t give up the pursuit. She let us love her, and loves us in return.

Karen quickly became the kind of friend whose door was always open, and the coffee pot was always on. She came to our house for noise and excitement. At her home,  Jelly Belly jelly beans and water were always present.  She is a woman who is retired from the army after 22 years. A little rough around the edges, but life has dealt her some harsh blows.  I think in many ways, we are all rough around the edges aren’t we?   I want to be a friend like her. One who always opens the door to her neighbors and their wild, full of life children. One who gardens in the heat of the day, to get rid of those awful weeds.   One who accepts a glass of lemonade on a hot Texas day, from grubby little toddler hands, and drinks every drop and is thankful. One who seeks to know what our favorite things are and pops in with surprise groceries, when we didn’t know how we were going to make it that month.  The friend who always listens, asks the right questions, and seeks to make sure we know how loved we are. She has been the break from reality, when Sammy was coaching 96 hours a week.  She comes for birthdays.  Truth be told, she has brought the birthday many times! The kids found chocolate chip cookie cakes with maraschino cherries, whipped cream , icing, sprinkles and whatever toppings they chose to be undeniably delicious!  I think she has made cookie cakes for the last 8 years!

She was there for the activities of the kids, a supporter of odd requests and purchaser of random last-minute birthday gifts that we couldn’t (or wouldn’t) purchase.  She has a son and daughter in law, but grandchildren haven’t arrived.  She has wall plaques, and picture frames that have Nana phrases. She has our hearts.  So, as she suffers from her third form of cancer in 3 years, we cry out to the Lord with sorrow and gratitude. With sorrow, because it hurts us to see her suffer.  With gratitude, that she has been led to the Maker of Heaven and Earth and we know eternity is in her heart. Selfishly, we want her forever here.  Not for her to be in suffering, but in selfishness we want her here, with us.  She became Nana.  You see, she is adopted into our family and as much of our family as any Grandmother or Grandfather would be. We wormed our way into her heart, and she planted the gift of love in ours.

So this is where the wish comes in. I wish we were all healthy at the same time so visits could be more frequent. Will you pray that we can be healthy to visit as often as possible?  According to the Dr, we have a month give or take.  A month of quiet kisses and I love you.  A month to take as many pictures as we can take. A month to get in as many cuddles as her pained body can bear. A month to share laughter and love over a meal. One last Christmas, birthday and Thanksgiving. One last…

Every day is a gift.  Every day matters.

I want to be like Nana. Full of love, patience and humor.  Generous to a fault.  Ready for adventure!

We love you Nana.

The Shades of Disarray


The Shades of Disarray

By Tara Young

Many shades of disarray I can plainly see.

Why can’t my home be as tidy as I wish it to be?

Image

The hours we read and played today. The laundry piled up high.

To say that I am not discouraged would be a great big lie.

Yet in her eyes I see a glow as first words she read out loud.

Her voice squeaked and screeched as she yelled, “I read! Mom! Aren’t you proud?”

These moments that I have with her are shades of disarray.

The cleaning and the folding will be done as I pray.

Pray that I am worthy of this child placed in my heart.

For in my womb she did not grow, but God gave her a fresh start.

So when I see the disarray, I shrug my shoulders and sigh.

I will get to that, but now, her joy is nigh.

If I wait until she naps, a lot more things get done.

Right now in my shades of disarray, she just wants to have some fun.

fun girl

 

Mother’s Day – For broken, barren or grieving moms who have lost a child.

For the broken-hearted mother whose arms long for a child, yet have none to hold. I remember your pain. I remember the sorrow.  You are not alone. You are not forgotten. Your heart is in His hands.

It is ok to cry.

It is ok to grieve.

Don’t give up hope.

You are precious.

You are dear to your Maker and those around you. 

You are loved.

On mother’s day, if you know someone who has lost a child and grieves, let them know they are loved.  There is a despair on Mother’s Day that is so deep and painful.  Love them. Cherish them. Show them you care.

A Mother in my Heart

by Tara Young

We waited and hoped and prayed it was so. My spouse and I to the doctor did go.

The baby not here yet I longed to hold. To watch while that child grew and we grew old.

The inky dark blackness has settled in. What did I do was it some secret sin?

My child, my children, they are all gone. My womb now is empty I can’t sing any song.

No baby to hold, my heart is breaking. My body, the pain, my soul is shaking.

Why oh why did He do this to us? I feel like saying bad words just to cuss!

The empty cold stare reflects nothingness. His reflection reflects his helplessness.

Why go to celebrate Mother’s day as they hand out roses or pins my emotions they fray.

My heart, it aches, it burns with despair. I just want this life to be fair.

Empty arms, broken-hearted as my children have since departed.

Remember me as you see me at church, I am here waiting for peace as I search.

For the reasons of life I don’t understand. God I’m stretched out like a rubber band.

I am a broken piece of shattered art. I will always be a mother in my heart.

Since this grief, God has blessed me 3 beautiful adopted daughters and I am so glad. There is still a small part of my heart which loves the 3 I lost. They are with the Lord and I find solace in that. Safe in the arms of Jesus who loves them perfectly.

Prayers for you if you are hurting. Cry out to the Lord. He will hear you friend. If you need to leave a message, I will do my best to answer you. 🙂 Virtual hugs to your grieving heart.

Beautiful Mosaic Art

Beautiful Mosaic Art

By Tara Young

Stepping out of the darkness the grief is nearly gone. The ache of loss and sorrow, your mercy now upon me shon.

You are the healing hand that wiped away my tears. You sent a wonderful family that took away the fears.

That childless I would always be. Alone with no children to love. Just like that day many years ago when You gave me a precious dove.

You answered my prayer and gave me a child not one, but two, then three.  You blessed me tremendously yet sometimes it is hard to see.

There are some days the grief rolls in and nearly drowns my heart. Then I cry and remember my life is a piece of beautiful, mosaic art.

the family nobody wanted. A must read book!

The Family Nobody Wanted

the family nobody wanted

My cousin sent me this book as we have adopted 3 children. I didn’t read it right away because just the title alone is sad to me. As we have gone through each adoption, we have learned that nothing is EVER the same. 🙂 You are probably saying some smarty pants comment right now like “duh” or “seriously?” but you never know what to expect with adoption. Heartache and love go hand in hand.

Life changes so differently for each side of the family. This book made me laugh, cry, doubt, and lean more on God. He truly is the one who makes all things happen in His time.

I highly recommend this book to those whose hearts are blessed by adoption, to those considering adoption or those who work with foster care children. Rather, any person who loves should read this!

Have a wonderful day.

Tara

Keepin’ the fire burnin’

Our family has undergone a lot of change in the last year and half.  We adopted. Our car died along the road last Christmas and we had to purchase another vehicle. God gave us the money to pay it off.  We put our house on the market. (with false expectations on my part that it would sell in one week! It took less than 80) My husband was offered a job. Quit his job. Took a huge pay cut.  We sold our house. Packed our house. Moved our family across town to live with my parents for an undetermined amount of time. We put a bid on some property only to find out it had a well that belongs to someone else for 99 years and about 4 acres of the 10 has easements!

So, date night? Pffft!  We had one in June as we celebrated our 16 year anniversary. 🙂

That is good considering but you know it isn’t what it should be.

Sammy asked my mom to watch the girls and we had our first date the other night when we went out for one of our favorite foods! Indian! We had a wonderful time together and we talked about life in Africa where we lived and learned to cook and love Indian food. We talked about life now as we are walking an a path entirely dependent upon the Lord which is where we should always be!

Just like the fire in the picture, we need to keep the fire going with our friendships, our mates and especially God. Without Him we are nothing.

Relationships take time.

It took forever to get this fire going this morning!  Kindling, paper, more kindling! It didn’t just start right up. Building a good fire takes time and patience. (Not gasoline people!)

Take the time today to rekindle your old flame with your spouse. Make a phone call to someone who is on your heart. Cry out to the Maker of Heaven and Earth and ask Him to restart the flame in your heart.  Live in the warmth His love brings!  Stay warm my friends!

Snuggle up

Psalm 27:14
New Living Translation (NLT)

Wait patiently for the Lord.  Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”
 So how hard is it to wait?

Have you ever had to wait for a long time for something?  We waited in prayer for each child. Sierra was a year and a half. She prayed for a sister and that was about 5 months. Tekoa prayed for Inara and that was a year and 2 days.  We are praying for our house to sell and it has been less than 4 months! Waiting!

We have been asking God in the ups and downs of our wait, what He is doing… What are we waiting for? Why are we still waiting?  When are you going to answer?

I was awakened early by someone blowing smelly morning breath in my face. The words came out so sweetly but I wish it was an hour later! 🙂 “Good morning mommy. How was your sleep?” I said, “Good morning dear. I wish it was longer.”  She climbed into bed with us and snuggled down near us and was still.

One of the few pictures I have of me with the kids! I am always the one taking pictures 🙂

That is where God wants us!  He wants us cuddled up next to Him on the park bench. Snuggled up in His arms.  Or if you are from the south and are dating or married and own a truck, you gotta get REAL close on that bench seat. 🙂 He has us in the palm of His hand and He knows what tomorrow will hold. Though we, in our minds full of doubt cannot begin to grasp His reasons, they are there.  WE don’t need to know what He is thinking until it is time.  We need to ” Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous.  Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”

Maybe He wants to see how well we trust. Maybe He wants to use you as an example to others to show reliance on the One who provides according to His riches? Maybe He just wants to snuggle with you!

We need to be in that place today where we are close to our Heavenly Father. Trusting. Being brave and courageous. Finally being patient.  Easy to say but hard to do.

So snuggle on up friends. God is waiting to hold you!

I am walking in a dream

I am walking in a dream where I can’t see the light. I am waiting for an answer but it will not come tonight.

I see a new-born baby, not sure if it is mine. We will wait oh Lord and walk this crooked line.

In my dreams and when I wake. Is it real or is it fake.

It seems so clear, so cloudy too. Is this real? Is this true?

We wait for You dear Lord to speak. Help that babe for it is weak.

Be with its mother on this day. Help her Lord I do pray.

Guide her. Heal her. Protect her Lord. Praying together in one accord.

They are yours each child born. Let them not all stay forlorn.

A miraculous family tree.

Beneath my heart where my womb would be, is an empty space.

 No child, no babe, no wee one, will ever inhabit that place.

 I am unable to bear a child, a lament my heart did face.

 In God’s arrangement and in His manner He provided by His grace.

 He took my three and replaced with theirs, three little ones in need.

I recognize that He has blessed me with richness indeed.

He grew them in another’s womb another mother did bear.

 My valued cherished daughters to me you gave to care.

Three little faces greet me each new day.

Wild and passionate in their extraordinary way.

 Their joy replaces my grief.

I thought that through birth they would come to me but adoption was a relief.

 I understand though no babes will come I do unmistakably see.

You enriched our lives by planting a miraculous family tree.

God you are good. You are faithful and true.

My husband wrote music for a song on his guitar and asked me to help him write the lyrics. So this is what I came up with  🙂 It is from his point of view written by me which I find quite funny! Not sure why but here is my joy for today!

 

God you are good. You are faithful and true.

 

One November day I saw your eyes looking back at me. Who knew then my bride forever you would be. After you wore your wedding gown on that hot summer day. From job to job, from town to town you’ve followed me.

God you are good. You are faithful and true. We are truly blessed to be loved by you. Your arms are open wide, your eyes are ever seeing. Lord you are mighty and from evil we’re fleeing.

From Dallas to Del Rio to Africa we went. A daughter just one from Nairobi, Kenya you lent. 2 years later one blond hair beauty we were blessed with. In April our lives changed forever again. He gave us daughter number three after a year of faithful prayers. He’s blessed us so much and on Him we cast our cares.

 God you are good. You are faithful and true. We are truly blessed to be loved by you. Your arms are open wide your eyes are ever seeing Lord you are mighty and from evil we’re fleeing. 

God You are good. You are faithful and true. We are truly blessed to be loved by You. Your arms are open wide Your eyes are ever seeing. Lord you are mighty and from evil we’re fleeing.

God You are good. You are faithful and true. We are truly blessed to be loved by You.