Life Preserver

“Those who guard their lips, preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.” Proverbs 13:3

This verse gave me such a mental picture!  I saw a person flailing and splashing about in the water. Screaming and yelling, though I am not sure if it was out of fear or anger. Fear of being alone. Fear of past or present. Fear and anger that nothing ever done is good enough. Fear that the kids won’t succeed. Fear that always keep friends pushed away, because we don’t want them to see the evil in our hearts. Or just because we are sinful, hurt people.  Fear consumes.

Regardless of the craziness, the first part of the verse, “those who guard their lips, preserve their lives.” struck me with full force.

Our words build up, encourage, tear down and hurt all out of the same mouth.

The latter part of the verse talks about bringing ruin. Not just ruin for us, but also for those around us.  This was a painful blog to write about, because of this very thing I am guilty. Perhaps this is the reason I was led to write these words?

I have a challenge. Let’s watch the faces of those we love, crumple as we speak loudly and rudely.  Let’s watch as they shine and sparkle as we encourage them. Let us see their hearts fly as we encourage them. Or, see them chained to the pain as we yell mercilessly.

I want to be a life-preserver. Not one who brings ruin.

Join me!

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In My Anger Based on Matthew 21

In My Anger
Based on Matthew 21
By: Tara Young

In my anger do I sin?
You know I am boiling deep within.

When I don’t get what I think I need,
I am overcome with greed.

Greed to get what I want,
not just so that I can flaunt.

But when they don’t do what I say,
and life just doesn’t go my way.

Why can’t they just listen to me?
I am trying to train them to be.

Young ladies who will work for good.
To honor God because they should.

Not just because I am in charge,
but in the grand scheme of life, obedience is large.

It transfers from us to Him.
May their hearts not be swayed by sin.

Their hearts not like aged, hardwood,
but to be pliable as it should.

Lord, let my heart be one with You.
May my heart be strong and true.

Drive out the “money changers” in my heart.
Clean it and give me a fresh start.

My life is Yours, let me be,
an example for my children to see.

How Your love washes clean and pure.
Giving strength to endure.

The struggles of every day life,
In my journey as mother and wife.

Let my heart bask in Your purity.
Let me be with You in unity.

Fly Paper Mama

Are there times when in the distance, you hear someone calling your name? Are you actually listening?  Do you care?

Then you realize the person is right next to you, repeating your name and calling you. “MOM! MOM! MOM! Can you hear me? I am talking to you. MOM?!”. Is there a frustration that builds as they pull you from your own blissful world of silence?

Being a stay at home mom can be a challenge at times. There is a constant barrage of questions and answers that trickle in through the calm. Constant redirection and correction are your tools. Little rears, little noses and little hands that all need attention NOW!

Little lips are kissing my arm like one of those water pecking birds.

I am in the midst of doing some chore. The other two are speaking as they increase the decibel level by 10 so that they can be louder than the other to get my attention. The garden needs to be watered. Five piles of semi folded laundry are scattered in the living room. Dinner is in the oven and the dishwasher is in over drive.

Then someone announces, “The dog just rolled in horse poo mom and she wants to come in!”  

“NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! DON’T LET HER IN!!!”

“Hi Angel.” (In a very gushy talking to the dog voice. Those who have dogs, know what I am talking about!)

“OUT! OUT! OUT!”

“Mom, she wanted to say hi.”

“She can say hi from the door next time.”

(True story) 🙂

Do you feel like you just can’t listen anymore because you are so frustrated with life going on all around you?

Do you feel like Fly Paper?

Turn this situation around to yourself.  Imagine you are with a friend or a spouse having lunch or a coffee.  You are chatting away only to realize they did not hear a word you said.  Shock and dismay are pretty common reactions here. Feeling unimportant to them is another.

I really like to speak and be heard. I really like to listen. I have to remember though, that even though my children are little, they are still little people. They do need to be heard. I am training them by my actions and reactions how to be adult listeners.

Am I showing them that is ok not to listen while someone is speaking to them?

OR

Am I making them feel special, because I am taking time from my busy day to demonstrate the same love that I want to be showered with?

There is a great responsibility before us as we raise children to be good listeners.

Lend your ear today.  Listen to what the little people are saying. 🙂

 

Lord, let me be a good example to my children today. Guide me as I teach and instruct them in Your ways. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

 ^{James 1:19-20 NIV “}My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ²⁰ because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

Take a breath. Pray. Be a peacemaker.

Instead of yelling, I have prayed. Instead of letting my kids fight, we have prayed. Instead of letting frustrations get the best of us, we have prayed. Amazing what prayer can do! Amazing how many times we are praying instead of reacting too! “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” Proverbs 15:1 NLT
“A prayer of one overwhelmed with trouble, pouring out problems before the L LORD, hear my prayer! Listen to my plea!”  Psalm 102:1 NLT
“He will listen to the prayers of the destitute. He will not reject their pleas.”  Psalm 102:17 nlt

In this tumultuous time of change, my temper has flared quite a lot.  My husband is so wise. He said, “Stop and pray before you react.”  I know this fact. I believe that the Lord answers prayer. Yet my sinful life overwhelms the truth.

I have to stop and pray so that I teach my children to do what is right instead of overreacting because of my circumstances.

Take a breath.  Pray.  Be a peacemaker.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.”  Matthew 5:9

If I were a super hero part 1

If I were a super hero, I would be a combination of Elastigirl from Disney and Pixar’s movie The Incredibles, and the Incredible Hulk.  When I get sooooo stretched out I turn into the Incredible Hulk. Not a proud moment for me I must say when I get so riled, but goodness me,  my kids know how to push my buttons!

I remember being angry as a child. I was teased by someone in our family and I would stand like the Incredible Hulk with my fists to my side, sucking air through my teeth saying, “DON’T MAKE ME MAD!” Of course, who could resist that invitation?!  Scuffles would ensue and “the referee” would break it up.  

As a mom, I feel more Elastigirl most days because there are sooo many things that pull and stretch me.  It is hard being a mom.  It is also wondeful being a mom.  I often forget that I am a mother because God chose me to be a mother. When I am like the Incredible Hulk I am not being godly. I am being a selfish person who doesn’t want to be pushed or bothered.  Elastigirl would probably make a good super hero, but the Incredible Hulk is more like.

😦

 Easily pushed to a rage. NOT GOOD!

So. Now that I have written this, what shall I do about it? 

In Your way.

Friendship thought solid, masks pulled away, yet they apparently judged what they saw.

 Feelings are trampled, trust is broken, and how do we walk this jagged road?

 Not even goodbye not sure we were leaving, yet the emptiness still overwhelms my heart.

 Emotions billowing, sorrows they’re reeling. Why can’t I shake these feelings God?

 Anger, frustration tides rolling in what’s the source of my restlessness?

 Change has come Lord it’s hard to process. What is your plan for us now we ask?

 Knowing the answers will make it better right? Why did it happen this way dear God?

 Yes God we know it was not meant for us and all things work together for your good.

 Seeking, searching, following hard after you is what we are assiduously trying to do.

 Trying to be authentic trying to be strong, why does this feel so heartrending and wrong?

 Trying to rest in your promise Father. Your love over flows let me seize it today.

 My cup is before You, fill it dear Father. Help me to relax in Your will this day.

 My broken heart, I acquiesce to you now God, I’m your servant help me to march in Your way.

It trikles down.

Grumbling, mumbling, rumbling and complaining it starts at the top and just trickles down.

Justifying, excusing, anger is confusing. When will I see it’s me who needs change?

Today is the day dear Lord and I need You. Come to my aid and help me right now.

Loving and gentle, patience and kindness. Now I see that trickling down.

Washing, refreshing, cleansing, encouraging. Allowing them each to be whom you made them for You.

They’re not little robots, the children adopted. All things before are out of my control.

What happens today though, I am responsible. What I do will flood their lives.

May I be the light in their shadowy darkness. Help me in my repaired state just guide them to You.

Show mercy, love, kindness and bind up their wounds Lord. Help me to be the mom you’ve made me to be.

I do have a purpose but am I allowing you to fill me and use me today?

We are your creations; you’ve made us to worship. May we be your vessels let Your peace trickle down.