Beautiful Mosaic Art

Beautiful Mosaic Art

By Tara Young

Stepping out of the darkness the grief is nearly gone. The ache of loss and sorrow, your mercy now upon me shon.

You are the healing hand that wiped away my tears. You sent a wonderful family that took away the fears.

That childless I would always be. Alone with no children to love. Just like that day many years ago when You gave me a precious dove.

You answered my prayer and gave me a child not one, but two, then three.  You blessed me tremendously yet sometimes it is hard to see.

There are some days the grief rolls in and nearly drowns my heart. Then I cry and remember my life is a piece of beautiful, mosaic art.

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the family nobody wanted. A must read book!

The Family Nobody Wanted

My cousin sent me this book as we have adopted 3 children. I didn’t read it right away because just the title alone is sad to me. As we have gone through each adoption, we have learned that nothing is EVER the same. 🙂 You are probably saying some smarty pants comment right now like “duh” or “seriously?” but you never know what to expect with adoption. Heartache and love go hand in hand.

Life changes so differently for each side of the family. This book made me laugh, cry, doubt, and lean more on God. He truly is the one who makes all things happen in His time.

I highly recommend this book to those whose hearts are blessed by adoption, to those considering adoption or those who work with foster care children. Rather, any person who loves should read this!

Have a wonderful day.

Tara

Nearly 19 years ago

Nearly 19 years ago, I was walking in the dark

Nearly 19 years ago, I was living, walls so stark.

Nearly 19 years ago, I was not walking in the light

Nearly 19 years ago, I was walking in my might.

 

Nearly 19 years ago, I lived a life so wild.

Nearly 19 years ago, I found myself with child

Nearly 19 years ago, I chose to take your life from you

Nearly 19 years ago, I still wonder where time flew.

 

Now 19 years later, I still grieve my loss.

Now 19 years later, my life is not all dross

Now 19 years later, three other souls are with you on that side.

Now 19 years later, sorrow spills a salty tide.

 

Now 19 years later, my tears once a year do fall

Now 19 years later, I have given Him my all

Now 19 years later, I am grateful He forgives

Now 19 years later, in my heart He loves and lives.

 

This is a very tender subject for me. Tonight my husband got a phone call about a friend and his wife ready to deliver a baby. I was reminded of my choice and that I will never have a biological child. That time has past because of medical reasons, but this I do know, He is in control at all times. Please know that there are many who have suffered silently with grief. Don’t continue. Ask for help from someone in your church or find a godly counselor to reach out to. Call a friend and ask for help. Don’t stay locked away in your sorrow or depression! You are loved. You are forgiven. You are precious to the One who created you!

 Thank you Lord for redeeming me and loving me.

 

Would I go back?

I have been asked if I could go back and change anything in my life what mistakes would I correct?  I thought long and hard about this as today is my birthday. 🙂   I would not honestly change anything because it is impossible!  Would I like to do the right thing? Yes, but I can’t go back. I can thank God that I have made it 38 years and ask for His guidance because without Him, who knows where I would be!

Don’t try to go back and change things. Don’t dwell and sit in sorrow and self pity remembering things that can’t be changed.  Do ask God to bring good things from the bad because His word says He will! 🙂

King James 2000 Bible (©2003)
Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

He can make good things from our awful mistakes. YAY!!!!!!!!

Everyone is…

Photo was taken in Amman, Jordan 1995.

Everyone is…

By Tara Young

Everyone is special we all have our own way. We are all made diverse like night and day.  Some are fluffy while others look as if a gust of wind could blow them far away.

Some are short and some are stout while others stretch to the sky. Some are a combination at each new time of their lives.

Some eyes are blinded by pain.  While others eyes bore into the souls of the grieving to relieve though too often in vain.

Some hearts are filled with nothing but hate and regret. While others are filled with love and purpose.

Some hands hurt those they love. While other hands repair the damage of the past.

 Some use their bodies to block out the ache that holds their hearts in a vice-like grip.

Some feet walk readily into sin while annihilating the innocent by their sin.

All the while, the abused suffers without hope.

Broken.

Injured.

Forlorn.

Empty.

Hollow.

Dejected.

Wounded.

In the darkness of that shame and anguish, a light shines. In the door of our lives He is standing, waiting with His loving arms extended. He is waiting to pull us out of the miry pit. Taking us from the filth of what was thrust upon us and what damage we have caused to ourselves.  Soothingly He bandages the years of wounds that we have permitted to fester. Washed clean and lovingly restored. Like a clay pot We were made for a purpose. We are created by Him. This is what gives hope to the abused, the broken and the wounded. This is what turns downcast eyes to the heavens. Searching for hope. Searching for reprieve. Searching for release. Searching for the One who makes all things beautiful in His time.  Searching for the Master who will make us whole again.

Jeremiah 31:3  NIV The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness…”

I do realize this was written for the Israelites, but I know that He reaches to each of us and loves all of us. No matter what we have done. No matter how many times we have repeated the same act in sin. No matter if we were hurt. He loves us because He made us.

Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

This is my favorite verse and has been since I was a child. An abused and hurt child.  Someone hurt me and it never went away. It has lessened, but the scar is still there. This is the verse that my mother shared with me to help me get through (not over) the struggles that I faced as a girl and into womanhood.  This verse has carried me through the awkward stages. The too heavy stages, and even the too thin stage. (But that was only once!) It still it carries me. God’s Word is alive and active today. Let it heal you!

Father, each of us is so different on the inside and the outside. You know each of us Lord. Help us to search for You and find You when we seek You with all of our hearts. (Jeremiah 29:13-14). Help us to let go of the pain in our past to walk toward our future with hope. In the name of Jesus we pray. Amen.

With my tears and my hair.

From Luke 7:36-50

 Here I am Lord a tarnished woman. The oil from my jar is a love gift to You.

My tears stream down to wash Your feet Lord. I am but a sinner let me.

I hear the comments about waste, but had I not done this, I’d have nothing to give.

Sell it they say. 300 Denari I know a high cost even though it would feed so many more.

A balm for my Savior and ointment for Him. This is preparing Him for the grave.

I hear the words that the world will remember me, but that is not why I did what I did.

My gift of love was poured out in sorrow. My tears mingled with the perfume.

His feet they are washed and prepared for His end. I have no towel so I’ll just use my hair. Dry and ready He is going to the cross. His life He has given for you and for me.

Thank you dear Jesus for Your act of service. You have allowed me to live life today.

With hope, joy and courage, I walk now toward You. This race I will finish with refinement from You. Help me to love and forgive as You do. I am but a cracked vessel use me.

God is my pressure washer.

I was preparing the outside of my house for showing and the realtor asked if I would bleach a few spots on the driveway to get a few oil stains out. I had honestly never thought about cleaning the driveway!  So, I took the bleach and scrubbed the driveway but it wasn’t doing the job well enough. I thought about using a pressure washer.  I have never used a pressure washer, nor did I have one.  I had seen our neighbor with one and inquired about it.  He graciously loaned it to me and I proceeded without any instructions, to put it together. 

 It was hot, and I was having no success.  Finally I figured it out!  Woo hoo!  We have been here in this home almost 4 years now and that is what was on the ground! You can see the dirt and grime build up. There were some nasty spots on the driveway that over time had built up. I didn’t notice them because they became common.  That is the way sin is in my life.  I get accustomed to it and it doesn’t bother me.  So of course I had to take a photo to show what God does in our lives when He has free reign to do so!  

 God is our Heavenly “pressure washer”. Sometimes it takes some mega scrubbing and some severe force to get the sins out of our lives. You know, you actually have to ask Him to clean it out.  Ask as it says in I John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  We can be clean! Simply ask.

Lord, if there is any unclean thought, any evil or any sin in our lives today, please wash it out.  Help us to yield the dirty pavement of our lives to You Father. In Jesus name, Amen

Drifting listlessly

Drifting listlessly, falling breathlessly suspended I see.

My heart is longing. Enjoying the moment blissfully loving.

Thankfully waiting. Redeemed. Provided for. Blessed beyond measure.

Forgiven. Enraptured. Ensconced in His majesty.

Fought for. Captivated with. Purged in the blood.

Free from the ashes, peeking out seeing the beauty arise.

Soaring. gliding experiencing life. An adventure begins each day.

The moonlight explodes encapsulating reality.

This is my life. Arise in this moment. Shine and be free.

A firefly on a balmy summer night.

Picking up the pieces.

“Arm, arm, leg. oh look there are two heads. Arm, leg, leg.”  This is what I heard from the other room while the girls sorted my husbands collection of G.I. Joe parts.  He does have a few characters that are still whole, but so many of them were “injured in battle”.  Some are painted with red paint, while others are painted with white bandages on legs, arms or heads.   It made me think of life.  So many times in life God is picking up the pieces of our broken hearts, of abused bodies, sorrow and loss,  and marriage or family struggles. 

Fortunately He can restore all things.  Whatever was broken  won’t be the same as it was before it was broken, but He makes all things beautiful in His time. Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NLT)  says, “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” http://bible.cc/ecclesiastes/3-11.htm We don’t know what  His plan is for today or for tomorrow,  but we do know that He can bring beauty from ashes.

Lord, please bind up the broken-hearted. Help those in the midst of grief and allow those who are walking with their heads hung low, to lift their eyes towards You to be renewed. In Jesus name, Amen.