In times of questioning… Part 1

In this time of questioning, one must ask, “What is Your will Father?” When all else seems to be lost in the time of confusion, one must ask, “Will You clear the way?” Yet, here I sit typing away wondering about the days to come. Not because I doubt His plan for us, rather what do I do to be obedient to Him.  When you don’t know what to do, what is the best option? Wait. Wait. Wait.  Wait until His path is illuminated. Wait until He tells us what to do. What until there is peace in the decision-making process.  So how am I going to do that??? I don’t honestly know.

These past few weeks have been really hard.  Challenging and frustrating. Scary and sorrowful.

I homeschool two of our three children. We have had an amazing year. A quote from Charles Dickens comes to mind, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” Homeschool can be just that! Amazing and wonderful most days, but there are days I want to snatch them bald to be perfectly honest.  (They still have all of their hair 😉

Last week, my daughter’s computer crashed.  The one that she has been using for all of her school curriculum. In my 40+ years, I have NEVER had a computer crash. Needless to say, we lost everything. Why now?

We had some options. Option 1 was send the hard drive to a team of specialists in a white room where they would take apart every little minute piece of our hard drive to try to save the data, to the cost of $600-$1000.  Or option 2, (which we chose) was to replace the hard drive and lose everything.  EVERYTHING! All of her work since August was gone.

That left us with a very creative fun week of letter writing, cooking and library trips, to check out our weekly 60 plus books.  Though the computer was returned in perfect working order, I am bummed about the loss of her hard work.

We then received word that our health insurance policy was expiring, and they were not going to be renewing our policy. WHAT? Ok. Now what?  After doing research, finding an agent, and meeting at a local restaurant, we find that our income doesn’t support the need we have.  Swallow. Deep breath. God has this under control. He really does. Yes. He. Does. I continually tell myself. HE DOES. Full time work may be calling me out of the home.  God knows. He does.

That same week, my littlest runs in from the shop yelling that there is something wrong with one of our cats.  He had been sick, but not for long, and I had a feeling that Mr. Pickles wasn’t going to live much longer. Within moments of that conversation, he had passed away.  Sadly, their little hearts were throbbing in and their cries of hysterical pain echoed across the open area between the shop and our home.

Typically we have to bury an animal quickly, but daddy wasn’t home and I couldn’t break the rocky ground with the shovel. As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t get a hole started. The questions came from the kids, “Why did this happen to Mr. Pickles?” “Why couldn’t we have one more week?”

Helping children whilst crying yourself, isn’t always effective.  Through the tears and struggle, we made it through the day. Daddy came home and we buried Mr. Pickles.img_1054

I will close this post by saying this, life isn’t easy. Pain comes and hearts that once beat strongly, are snuffed out. Exhaustion is getting the best of me so I will close. Part 2 will not be far behind.

May you find solace in the One who catches every tear in a bottle.  Psalm 56:8 “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?”

I know we have been covered in prayer and seek that same solace.

Blessings,

Tara

 

 

 

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The Shades of Disarray


The Shades of Disarray

By Tara Young

Many shades of disarray I can plainly see.

Why can’t my home be as tidy as I wish it to be?

Image

The hours we read and played today. The laundry piled up high.

To say that I am not discouraged would be a great big lie.

Yet in her eyes I see a glow as first words she read out loud.

Her voice squeaked and screeched as she yelled, “I read! Mom! Aren’t you proud?”

These moments that I have with her are shades of disarray.

The cleaning and the folding will be done as I pray.

Pray that I am worthy of this child placed in my heart.

For in my womb she did not grow, but God gave her a fresh start.

So when I see the disarray, I shrug my shoulders and sigh.

I will get to that, but now, her joy is nigh.

If I wait until she naps, a lot more things get done.

Right now in my shades of disarray, she just wants to have some fun.

fun girl

 

Being a Coach’s Wife

Hi, My name is Tara.
I was a Coach’s Wife.
Just recently my husband has changed professions. Rather he quit coaching and is teaching.(He has always taught school of course, but now he is “just an English teacher”)
 We have been married for almost 17 years and I have been in each of the situations below.
Read on sweet coach’s wife and be encouraged.  I didn’t ever really do all of these at once. I don’t have a big enough plate for that!! 
These are the things that I have learned the hard way 😉
1. He wants to be with you as much as you want him to be home.
2. This is the way he can provide for his family.
3. He needs your support.
4. Surround yourself only with people who are supportive of his job because if you are not, you will begin to resent him.
5. Take your children (if you have them) to as many games as you possibly can. Sit where he can see you when he looks up to see you, watch his face beam with appreciation and love. Being there for the “Friday Night Lights” can be really fun.
6. Take meals to him on the weekends when he says is a good time. (If they let ya do that sort of thing.) Even 5 minutes of seeing him will refresh your heart and his.
7. Try not to complain about his job to others. He is doing all he can to enable you to stay home. (That was my situation as I was home- schooling our children)
8. Send sweet notes with his meals.
9. Remember, you married a coach. (Even if you didn’t, it is his job now.) 🙂
10. Don’t hold a grudge because he is doing his job. Try to encourage him by saying things like, “Honey, (sugar, baby whatever you call him. haha) I love the fact that you are working so hard for us. It is hard but I support you.”
11. Get a shirt with your last name on the back for you and your little ones. Craft stores often have sales so you can get an inexpensive one and do one yourself. I embroidered one for each of the girls but can’t find the photos! 😦 If you don’t have those options, wear the school colors.
12. Be specific with what you need from him. If you don’t calmly tell him what you need, he doesn’t know because he is so tired.
13. You are a team. Have fun 🙂
My thoughts while he was coaching were very self-centered.  “What about me?” “Why am I alone?” “Why does he get to have all of the fun?” He told me later that he wished I had been more supportive. (I was supportive, but the whole grumbling, ranting, wife thing didn’t do anything to help him or my situation. It doesn’t build up anyone!)
Truth is, you are alone for this season. This is life and you have to deal with it. Try to make it easier by being positive.
This is a reflection on my past.
I am hoping and praying you learn from my mistakes 🙂
Blessings on your journey friends.
Tara
Young Family 5

Young Family 5