Mother’s Day – For broken, barren or grieving moms who have lost a child.

For the broken-hearted mother whose arms long for a child, yet have none to hold. I remember your pain. I remember the sorrow.  You are not alone. You are not forgotten. Your heart is in His hands.

It is ok to cry.

It is ok to grieve.

Don’t give up hope.

You are precious.

You are dear to your Maker and those around you. 

You are loved.

On mother’s day, if you know someone who has lost a child and grieves, let them know they are loved.  There is a despair on Mother’s Day that is so deep and painful.  Love them. Cherish them. Show them you care.

A Mother in my Heart

by Tara Young

We waited and hoped and prayed it was so. My spouse and I to the doctor did go.

The baby not here yet I longed to hold. To watch while that child grew and we grew old.

The inky dark blackness has settled in. What did I do was it some secret sin?

My child, my children, they are all gone. My womb now is empty I can’t sing any song.

No baby to hold, my heart is breaking. My body, the pain, my soul is shaking.

Why oh why did He do this to us? I feel like saying bad words just to cuss!

The empty cold stare reflects nothingness. His reflection reflects his helplessness.

Why go to celebrate Mother’s day as they hand out roses or pins my emotions they fray.

My heart, it aches, it burns with despair. I just want this life to be fair.

Empty arms, broken-hearted as my children have since departed.

Remember me as you see me at church, I am here waiting for peace as I search.

For the reasons of life I don’t understand. God I’m stretched out like a rubber band.

I am a broken piece of shattered art. I will always be a mother in my heart.

Since this grief, God has blessed me 3 beautiful adopted daughters and I am so glad. There is still a small part of my heart which loves the 3 I lost. They are with the Lord and I find solace in that. Safe in the arms of Jesus who loves them perfectly.

Prayers for you if you are hurting. Cry out to the Lord. He will hear you friend. If you need to leave a message, I will do my best to answer you. 🙂 Virtual hugs to your grieving heart.

Beautiful Mosaic Art

Beautiful Mosaic Art

By Tara Young

Stepping out of the darkness the grief is nearly gone. The ache of loss and sorrow, your mercy now upon me shon.

You are the healing hand that wiped away my tears. You sent a wonderful family that took away the fears.

That childless I would always be. Alone with no children to love. Just like that day many years ago when You gave me a precious dove.

You answered my prayer and gave me a child not one, but two, then three.  You blessed me tremendously yet sometimes it is hard to see.

There are some days the grief rolls in and nearly drowns my heart. Then I cry and remember my life is a piece of beautiful, mosaic art.

Nearly 19 years ago

Nearly 19 years ago, I was walking in the dark

Nearly 19 years ago, I was living, walls so stark.

Nearly 19 years ago, I was not walking in the light

Nearly 19 years ago, I was walking in my might.

 

Nearly 19 years ago, I lived a life so wild.

Nearly 19 years ago, I found myself with child

Nearly 19 years ago, I chose to take your life from you

Nearly 19 years ago, I still wonder where time flew.

 

Now 19 years later, I still grieve my loss.

Now 19 years later, my life is not all dross

Now 19 years later, three other souls are with you on that side.

Now 19 years later, sorrow spills a salty tide.

 

Now 19 years later, my tears once a year do fall

Now 19 years later, I have given Him my all

Now 19 years later, I am grateful He forgives

Now 19 years later, in my heart He loves and lives.

 

This is a very tender subject for me. Tonight my husband got a phone call about a friend and his wife ready to deliver a baby. I was reminded of my choice and that I will never have a biological child. That time has past because of medical reasons, but this I do know, He is in control at all times. Please know that there are many who have suffered silently with grief. Don’t continue. Ask for help from someone in your church or find a godly counselor to reach out to. Call a friend and ask for help. Don’t stay locked away in your sorrow or depression! You are loved. You are forgiven. You are precious to the One who created you!

 Thank you Lord for redeeming me and loving me.

 

Snuggle up

Psalm 27:14
New Living Translation (NLT)

Wait patiently for the Lord.  Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”
 So how hard is it to wait?

Have you ever had to wait for a long time for something?  We waited in prayer for each child. Sierra was a year and a half. She prayed for a sister and that was about 5 months. Tekoa prayed for Inara and that was a year and 2 days.  We are praying for our house to sell and it has been less than 4 months! Waiting!

We have been asking God in the ups and downs of our wait, what He is doing… What are we waiting for? Why are we still waiting?  When are you going to answer?

I was awakened early by someone blowing smelly morning breath in my face. The words came out so sweetly but I wish it was an hour later! 🙂 “Good morning mommy. How was your sleep?” I said, “Good morning dear. I wish it was longer.”  She climbed into bed with us and snuggled down near us and was still.

One of the few pictures I have of me with the kids! I am always the one taking pictures 🙂

That is where God wants us!  He wants us cuddled up next to Him on the park bench. Snuggled up in His arms.  Or if you are from the south and are dating or married and own a truck, you gotta get REAL close on that bench seat. 🙂 He has us in the palm of His hand and He knows what tomorrow will hold. Though we, in our minds full of doubt cannot begin to grasp His reasons, they are there.  WE don’t need to know what He is thinking until it is time.  We need to ” Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous.  Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”

Maybe He wants to see how well we trust. Maybe He wants to use you as an example to others to show reliance on the One who provides according to His riches? Maybe He just wants to snuggle with you!

We need to be in that place today where we are close to our Heavenly Father. Trusting. Being brave and courageous. Finally being patient.  Easy to say but hard to do.

So snuggle on up friends. God is waiting to hold you!

Adoption questions I have never been asked before today!

During our open house (which no one showed up for)My husband had  appointment. The girls and I went to the local indoor play area to pass an hour. There was a woman who started chatting with me about kids and she saw all three of mine who happen to look so completely different, she asked about that and I said with permission from the kids that they were all adopted. She looked at me with a very strange expression and said, “You mean you love them like your own children?” I said, “Yes they are my children in every way.” “You mean they call you  and your husband mom and dad?” I said yes and they are my children.”  I explained our story a bit about the loss of our children and following surgery and the adoptions themselves. She still was unable to grasp taking in a child not of her womb.  She truly did not get it. I told her that I was blessed by God because had I not adopted we would not have children. What a generous God we have. I lost three to miscarriage and God gave me 3 other children who are so wonderfully different.

Thank you God!

Young Family 5 🙂

A miraculous family tree.

Beneath my heart where my womb would be, is an empty space.

 No child, no babe, no wee one, will ever inhabit that place.

 I am unable to bear a child, a lament my heart did face.

 In God’s arrangement and in His manner He provided by His grace.

 He took my three and replaced with theirs, three little ones in need.

I recognize that He has blessed me with richness indeed.

He grew them in another’s womb another mother did bear.

 My valued cherished daughters to me you gave to care.

Three little faces greet me each new day.

Wild and passionate in their extraordinary way.

 Their joy replaces my grief.

I thought that through birth they would come to me but adoption was a relief.

 I understand though no babes will come I do unmistakably see.

You enriched our lives by planting a miraculous family tree.

I am a battle-ax!

I am a battle-ax a weapon of war. You gave me these children I gladly fight for.

Stalking like a lioness I stand and watch each day.  Protecting ever pacing I daily stop to pray.

Running roughshod over my family I will not allow.  We took an oath and on those days he and I humbly did vow. 

To care for these children three. To run, to walk this path with thee.

Thank you Lord for blessing us thrice though your will and your way wasn’t that nice.

For three I lost along the way in your heavens now they stay.

Safe and secure in Your arms of above. You replaced them with three more to love.

We guide their hearts and hold their lives trying to ensure that each one thrives.

 A blessing my family is this day. Adoption was the only way. 

 In heaven we pray will see each face shining in your glory and grace.

(I know that is a male lion but it is the mental picture was going for with my husband and I 🙂 )