17 years ago today.

17 years ago today, God opened the door and paved the way. I wore my mother’s dress that day.

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Walking with my hand in my father’s, he was giving away his only daughter’s.

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My parents entrusted my heart to yours preparing to walk through many doors.

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Humble vows tender words recited.

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Oh my goodness I was so excited! Being one with you had been decided.

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17 years of ups and downs.

17 years of laughter and frowns.

17 years of sorrows and joys.

17 years floors now littered with toys.

If I were to return to this same time, I would still make you mine.

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Trepidation and excitement too, 17 years and I still choose you.

 Happy Anniversary my love.

Mother’s Day – For broken, barren or grieving moms who have lost a child.

For the broken-hearted mother whose arms long for a child, yet have none to hold. I remember your pain. I remember the sorrow.  You are not alone. You are not forgotten. Your heart is in His hands.

It is ok to cry.

It is ok to grieve.

Don’t give up hope.

You are precious.

You are dear to your Maker and those around you. 

You are loved.

On mother’s day, if you know someone who has lost a child and grieves, let them know they are loved.  There is a despair on Mother’s Day that is so deep and painful.  Love them. Cherish them. Show them you care.

A Mother in my Heart

by Tara Young

We waited and hoped and prayed it was so. My spouse and I to the doctor did go.

The baby not here yet I longed to hold. To watch while that child grew and we grew old.

The inky dark blackness has settled in. What did I do was it some secret sin?

My child, my children, they are all gone. My womb now is empty I can’t sing any song.

No baby to hold, my heart is breaking. My body, the pain, my soul is shaking.

Why oh why did He do this to us? I feel like saying bad words just to cuss!

The empty cold stare reflects nothingness. His reflection reflects his helplessness.

Why go to celebrate Mother’s day as they hand out roses or pins my emotions they fray.

My heart, it aches, it burns with despair. I just want this life to be fair.

Empty arms, broken-hearted as my children have since departed.

Remember me as you see me at church, I am here waiting for peace as I search.

For the reasons of life I don’t understand. God I’m stretched out like a rubber band.

I am a broken piece of shattered art. I will always be a mother in my heart.

Since this grief, God has blessed me 3 beautiful adopted daughters and I am so glad. There is still a small part of my heart which loves the 3 I lost. They are with the Lord and I find solace in that. Safe in the arms of Jesus who loves them perfectly.

Prayers for you if you are hurting. Cry out to the Lord. He will hear you friend. If you need to leave a message, I will do my best to answer you. 🙂 Virtual hugs to your grieving heart.

Nearly 19 years ago

Nearly 19 years ago, I was walking in the dark

Nearly 19 years ago, I was living, walls so stark.

Nearly 19 years ago, I was not walking in the light

Nearly 19 years ago, I was walking in my might.

 

Nearly 19 years ago, I lived a life so wild.

Nearly 19 years ago, I found myself with child

Nearly 19 years ago, I chose to take your life from you

Nearly 19 years ago, I still wonder where time flew.

 

Now 19 years later, I still grieve my loss.

Now 19 years later, my life is not all dross

Now 19 years later, three other souls are with you on that side.

Now 19 years later, sorrow spills a salty tide.

 

Now 19 years later, my tears once a year do fall

Now 19 years later, I have given Him my all

Now 19 years later, I am grateful He forgives

Now 19 years later, in my heart He loves and lives.

 

This is a very tender subject for me. Tonight my husband got a phone call about a friend and his wife ready to deliver a baby. I was reminded of my choice and that I will never have a biological child. That time has past because of medical reasons, but this I do know, He is in control at all times. Please know that there are many who have suffered silently with grief. Don’t continue. Ask for help from someone in your church or find a godly counselor to reach out to. Call a friend and ask for help. Don’t stay locked away in your sorrow or depression! You are loved. You are forgiven. You are precious to the One who created you!

 Thank you Lord for redeeming me and loving me.

 

Do you love me?

Each of us have questioned being loved at one point in life if you are not there now!  Don’t give up hope!!!  You are loved. You are  cherished. You are special. You are adored. You were created in your mother’s womb. You were bought with a price. He delights over you with singing!

Not supposed to be on the couch by the way!

This picture by no means portrays the amount of love Christ has for us, but rather the sorrow we feel when we aren’t good enough.  If there are things in our lives that we should change, change them. If there are sins that need to be confessed, confess them. If you need to accept Jesus as the Lord of your life, do it!  Say, I am not OK with the way my life is. I am sorry God that I have sinned. Please forgive me and come into my heart today and change me. In Jesus name Amen.

Don’t stay sorrowful!

Find Joy!

Find Forgiveness!

Find Peace!

Find Freedom!

Find Love!