Be Still

tara.jpg

As I view this photo, it takes me back to the chilly fall day I had taken my daughters to Guadalupe River State Park.  It was too cold to swim that day, but in my mind’s eye, I crawled over the gnarled tree roots as I had done many times before.  Carefully and slowly I made my way to the water.

I was barefoot and anticipated first touch of the water on my bare toes. They tingled as I slid my foot into the water, big toe first testing the temperature.  It was cool against my skin. I placed both feet into the bubbling, gurgling river as the water fully surrounded me. Making room for me. Welcoming me.  My feet sank slowly into the sandy, murky mud that enveloped my feet completely.  They have disappeared into the bed of the river. Every now and then, if I wiggle my toes, they reappear above the mud.

Small minnows ,dart to and fro, between my legs, tickling me with their tiny bodies as they search for their next meal.

Water, aimlessly floats and meanders lazily, as I bask in the sunshine not wanting the quiet solace to end.

I am overwhelmed by the many colors that my eyes behold. I am thankful as my senses are fully ignited by the beauty surrounding me, engulfing me, protecting me, shielding me. I am relaxed in the beauty of God’s creation.

I am still before Him. I know that He is God.

In times of questioning… Part 1

In this time of questioning, one must ask, “What is Your will Father?” When all else seems to be lost in the time of confusion, one must ask, “Will You clear the way?” Yet, here I sit typing away wondering about the days to come. Not because I doubt His plan for us, rather what do I do to be obedient to Him.  When you don’t know what to do, what is the best option? Wait. Wait. Wait.  Wait until His path is illuminated. Wait until He tells us what to do. What until there is peace in the decision-making process.  So how am I going to do that??? I don’t honestly know.

These past few weeks have been really hard.  Challenging and frustrating. Scary and sorrowful.

I homeschool two of our three children. We have had an amazing year. A quote from Charles Dickens comes to mind, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” Homeschool can be just that! Amazing and wonderful most days, but there are days I want to snatch them bald to be perfectly honest.  (They still have all of their hair 😉

Last week, my daughter’s computer crashed.  The one that she has been using for all of her school curriculum. In my 40+ years, I have NEVER had a computer crash. Needless to say, we lost everything. Why now?

We had some options. Option 1 was send the hard drive to a team of specialists in a white room where they would take apart every little minute piece of our hard drive to try to save the data, to the cost of $600-$1000.  Or option 2, (which we chose) was to replace the hard drive and lose everything.  EVERYTHING! All of her work since August was gone.

That left us with a very creative fun week of letter writing, cooking and library trips, to check out our weekly 60 plus books.  Though the computer was returned in perfect working order, I am bummed about the loss of her hard work.

We then received word that our health insurance policy was expiring, and they were not going to be renewing our policy. WHAT? Ok. Now what?  After doing research, finding an agent, and meeting at a local restaurant, we find that our income doesn’t support the need we have.  Swallow. Deep breath. God has this under control. He really does. Yes. He. Does. I continually tell myself. HE DOES. Full time work may be calling me out of the home.  God knows. He does.

That same week, my littlest runs in from the shop yelling that there is something wrong with one of our cats.  He had been sick, but not for long, and I had a feeling that Mr. Pickles wasn’t going to live much longer. Within moments of that conversation, he had passed away.  Sadly, their little hearts were throbbing in and their cries of hysterical pain echoed across the open area between the shop and our home.

Typically we have to bury an animal quickly, but daddy wasn’t home and I couldn’t break the rocky ground with the shovel. As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t get a hole started. The questions came from the kids, “Why did this happen to Mr. Pickles?” “Why couldn’t we have one more week?”

Helping children whilst crying yourself, isn’t always effective.  Through the tears and struggle, we made it through the day. Daddy came home and we buried Mr. Pickles.img_1054

I will close this post by saying this, life isn’t easy. Pain comes and hearts that once beat strongly, are snuffed out. Exhaustion is getting the best of me so I will close. Part 2 will not be far behind.

May you find solace in the One who catches every tear in a bottle.  Psalm 56:8 “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?”

I know we have been covered in prayer and seek that same solace.

Blessings,

Tara

 

 

 

Am I Truly Thankful

Am I truly thankful for all that you have done. How often through my day do I ungraciously run. Allowing pessimistic thoughts to flow through my veins expecting productivity when what I speak comes out in negativity. Criticism first to my tongue, It should be dripping peace to each and every Young.

Am I truly thankful for all that You have done? The puppies that lay squirming from that little stray. You have given them to us to brighten up our day. Even if there are 8 your timing is never late!

Am I truly thankful for all that you have done? For my spouse after 6 months we were married, through years of coaching life was harried. Now a calm You have placed upon us. His being home is a bonus and a plus.

Am I truly thankful for all that you have done? The messes all around me Lord are so frustrating! Where is this peace that You afford? That is when you plainly say, “I answered your prayer for a family that day.”

Am I truly thankful for all that you have done? If I took the time to write all of the things You have done for me, I would be here all day long. You have blessed me with the gift of song. Yet another gift you gave. God help me daily to behave.

Am I truly thankful for all that you have done? My being at times a challenge can be, but yet again, you placed me exactly where you want me. Encouraging, loving, shepherding and listening. I can see your brow on the cross was glistening. With the love You poured out, your very life. Help me to see life as a blessing not just filled with strife.

Am I truly thankful for all that you have done?Let this day be in me which was also in Christ. Let me be last and You be first. Let my heart beam and with Your love, let it burst. Let it overflow. Let words of peace around me glow.

God, go before me this I pray. Go before me this new day. Let me see Your hand of power, reach every one of us this very hour.

I am truly thankful for all that you have done.

Being a Coach’s Wife

Hi, My name is Tara.
I was a Coach’s Wife.
Just recently my husband has changed professions. Rather he quit coaching and is teaching.(He has always taught school of course, but now he is “just an English teacher”)
 We have been married for almost 17 years and I have been in each of the situations below.
Read on sweet coach’s wife and be encouraged.  I didn’t ever really do all of these at once. I don’t have a big enough plate for that!! 
These are the things that I have learned the hard way 😉
1. He wants to be with you as much as you want him to be home.
2. This is the way he can provide for his family.
3. He needs your support.
4. Surround yourself only with people who are supportive of his job because if you are not, you will begin to resent him.
5. Take your children (if you have them) to as many games as you possibly can. Sit where he can see you when he looks up to see you, watch his face beam with appreciation and love. Being there for the “Friday Night Lights” can be really fun.
6. Take meals to him on the weekends when he says is a good time. (If they let ya do that sort of thing.) Even 5 minutes of seeing him will refresh your heart and his.
7. Try not to complain about his job to others. He is doing all he can to enable you to stay home. (That was my situation as I was home- schooling our children)
8. Send sweet notes with his meals.
9. Remember, you married a coach. (Even if you didn’t, it is his job now.) 🙂
10. Don’t hold a grudge because he is doing his job. Try to encourage him by saying things like, “Honey, (sugar, baby whatever you call him. haha) I love the fact that you are working so hard for us. It is hard but I support you.”
11. Get a shirt with your last name on the back for you and your little ones. Craft stores often have sales so you can get an inexpensive one and do one yourself. I embroidered one for each of the girls but can’t find the photos! 😦 If you don’t have those options, wear the school colors.
12. Be specific with what you need from him. If you don’t calmly tell him what you need, he doesn’t know because he is so tired.
13. You are a team. Have fun 🙂
My thoughts while he was coaching were very self-centered.  “What about me?” “Why am I alone?” “Why does he get to have all of the fun?” He told me later that he wished I had been more supportive. (I was supportive, but the whole grumbling, ranting, wife thing didn’t do anything to help him or my situation. It doesn’t build up anyone!)
Truth is, you are alone for this season. This is life and you have to deal with it. Try to make it easier by being positive.
This is a reflection on my past.
I am hoping and praying you learn from my mistakes 🙂
Blessings on your journey friends.
Tara
Young Family 5

Young Family 5