Phony or Faux Me?

 

I have spent many years trying to be someone I thought others wanted me to be. Fighting against what I thought I should be, rather than being the woman God wanted me to be. I have tried to please my husband doing things I thought he wanted me to do. (He didn’t even want that!) I was in the habit of being so serious all the time and not having fun.  Do you know how exhausting that is?

I was thinking the other day about what a phony I was.  Not intentionally mind you, but a phony because I was trying to be something that I was not.  Then I started thinking about words like “faux painting” and “faux fur” and other things that are faux.  Here I was being a Faux ME.  I was trying to be someone I thought I should be, and placed value in something that was valueless. A fake me.  I felt so empty and discouraged. Empty being Faux!  Empty being Phony!

God laid it out for me.

“…but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” I Peter 3:4

I don’t have to try to be a certain kind of wife or mother. I need to be the wife and mom God asks me to be.  A woman who loves deeply.   A woman who meets the needs of her family. One who is a helpmate for her man!

I am the funny jokester that cries at commercials, cap wearing, has crazy sticking up

hair now and then, loves her family kinda gal. I can also trap gophers like nobody’s business! 100 and counting!!!

I am free to be free! Free from the bondage of trying to be someone else.

I am not a phony or a faux me. I am exactly where I need to be, doing what I need to do. I work hard.  I love my family and try my best to honor God.

He filled me up with truth.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am rejoiced over with singing. I was bought with a price. I am forgiven and set free. I am loved. I am cherished. I am worthwhile.

You are all of these as well.

 

I love you!

Tara

A miraculous family tree.

Beneath my heart where my womb would be, is an empty space.

 No child, no babe, no wee one, will ever inhabit that place.

 I am unable to bear a child, a lament my heart did face.

 In God’s arrangement and in His manner He provided by His grace.

 He took my three and replaced with theirs, three little ones in need.

I recognize that He has blessed me with richness indeed.

He grew them in another’s womb another mother did bear.

 My valued cherished daughters to me you gave to care.

Three little faces greet me each new day.

Wild and passionate in their extraordinary way.

 Their joy replaces my grief.

I thought that through birth they would come to me but adoption was a relief.

 I understand though no babes will come I do unmistakably see.

You enriched our lives by planting a miraculous family tree.